'I'm a body language expert and Melania is more comfortable without Donald'


A psychotherapist’s reading of Melania Trump’s documentary and public appearances offers a different explanation for why she is so often labeled as distant or uncomfortable in the spotlight.

For years, Melania Trump’s public demeanor especially when she appears alongside her husband has been interpreted as aloof, tense, or unhappy. That interpretation has gained renewed attention following media coverage of Melania: 20 Days to History, a behind-the-scenes documentary that provides a closer look at how she navigates public life. The film, which Melania herself co-produced, largely shows her managing her schedule independently, moving between fittings, meetings, and quiet moments of solitude, with Donald Trump appearing only briefly.

Rather than portraying disconnection, the documentary highlights a strong preference for privacy, structure, and personal control. Observers, including the BBC, have noted that Melania appears most at ease in calm, organized settings where she can focus on details and operate on her own terms. This portrayal contrasts sharply with the public expectation that a First Lady should constantly project warmth, emotional openness, and visible engagement.

Psychotherapist and behavioral confidence specialist Shelly Dar suggests that what many people read as discomfort is more accurately described as restraint. According to Dar, Melania’s public presence is highly controlled, neutral, and intentional. This restraint becomes even more pronounced when she appears beside Donald Trump, where the pressure is higher and the consequences of any misstep are amplified. In that context, every expression, movement, and word is subject to intense scrutiny.

Dar explains that Melania’s minimal emotional display neutral facial expressions, limited gestures, and measured posture runs counter to cultural expectations placed on women in highly visible roles. In Western political culture, First Ladies are often expected to be emotionally expressive and reassuring. When someone refuses to perform that emotional accessibility, it is easily misinterpreted as coldness or unease.

The contrast is especially noticeable when Melania appears alone. In solo appearances, she tends to look more composed and self-contained, with steadier posture and deliberate pacing. Dar argues that this difference reflects autonomy rather than discomfort. Alone, Melania is managing only herself. Beside her husband, she is managing a role layered with symbolism, politics, and global attention.

According to Dar, the tightening of Melania’s body language next to Donald Trump does not signal emotional distance so much as precision. Speaking on an international stage, often in a second language, naturally encourages careful wording and guarded delivery. What unsettles observers, Dar suggests, is not a lack of feeling but a lack of emotional signaling. Melania Trump is not offering easy emotional access; she is projecting control, separation, and autonomy and that deliberate distance is what many people continue to misread.

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